Your Secret Santa recipient this year is Julian Devorak ("SaltySeaman" on the network). Please buy, make, or otherwise procure him a nice gift before December 26! You can give this directly, or label it clearly and drop it off at Crowe Clinic C/O Hawkeye Pierce.
Remember: Saint Nick is watching, and he knows where you live!
Happy Holidays, etcetera, and so forth, Santa Claus
[it takes Horatio a little longer than he would have liked to get to the Agency - it's not very close to one of his designated fairy rings, so he ends up power-walking the difference ... and when a good coffee shop happens to be between points A and B, one does not simply pass by.
so a reasonable amount of time later, if not a perfectly punctual one, he lets himself into the Detective Agency with a fresh to-go cup of coffee in hand.]
I'm here to speak to someone about some creditors.
[it's vague enough for a detective agency to sound innocuous to any bystanders not involved]
[It's business hours, so Richard is dressed for work and looking over some papers at his desk in the office. He's wearing all black and his eyepatch and facemask cover most of his face, so he practically blends in with the large chair he's sitting in. He's barely a presence in the room until he stands up to greet his visitor.]
That would be me. I'm Narumi, the chief detective of this agency.
[That's...mostly a lie. The name came with the building, the other detectives are just disguises, and he has no training as a detective whatsoever, but his actual success in the field speaks for itself.]
[He won't take breaks if no one reminds him and there's usually no one to remind him. Really, he should be grateful for the interruption.
He gets up from the desk and walks over to a closet that's tucked away on the far side of the office. There's a bit of an ominous rumble as he slowly pulls the door open and he has to quickly slip around it to bodily stop a stack of boxes from falling out of it.]
Damn this man...
[It takes a lot of willpower not to start throwing all the worthless junk out onto the floor. He's become absolutely terrible at controlling his temper, but he manages to exert enough self control not to make a fool of himself.]
Most of these are for coffee somehow.
[He takes a deep breath to try to cool his head and starts taking things out of the closet. As he promised, there are many coffee makers of various kinds, all very expensive-looking. Some of the boxes clearly haven't even been opened.]
Or at least I assume so. I moved everything that looked similar into this closet.
... You ever think of donating it? The Lighthouse could probably find homes for it all, and you wouldn't be in mortal peril every time you open that door.
[he smirks, amused, as he looks it all over. of course, he's going to take the one he likes the looks of most for himself]
I help manage things for them, as well, so I'm not just talking out my ass about it. Also, I know a couple of other people who'd probably buy one off you.
I'll consider it. There's a lot here that needs to be sold off or donated.
[He gives the box he's currently holding an experimental shake, then sets it carefully on the ground. As soon as he cuts the tape holding it closed, a fat black cat pours out of the box and wanders off to curl up under a table.
Richard sighs.]
You may want to clean out the coffee maker to make sure it's free of cat hair.
[He walks over to his desk as he talks. He needs to write down Larry Laffer's name for future reference and he might as well do it now while he's thinking about it.]
I genuinely don't know if the cats are normal cats who are granted the ability to defy the laws of nature due to the properties of the building or if the curse itself manifests them wherever it wishes.
[The mask and eyepatch may hide most of his facial expressions pretty effectively, but you can still tell he doesn't look happy about it.]
Nothing keeps them out and there's nowhere in the building you can't find them.
That's ... well, it's not the most bizzare thing I've heard here, but it's still pretty bizzare. ... But we can talk about that later. These creditors, is the list long?
[he reaches down and idly holds out a hand for the cat to sniff. ever since Celeste got Grand Bois back from Mana, he's been discovering he doesn't mind cats]
Not extremely. I've managed to deal with all but the most persistent ones. The reasonable ones eventually accepted that their dealings were with the man himself and not the agency and that I shouldn't be expected to shoulder his debt.
[He pulls a handwritten list out of a file folder on his desk and holds it out.]
These, though, refuse to accept any resolution that doesn't involve being repaid in full.
[The list includes the names and contact information of several businesses in Bavan, mostly restaurants, high-end clothing stores, and tailors. It's very carefully written in the local language and thus ends up looking a little childish. It's clearly copied letter by letter by someone unused to writing with a ballpoint pen.]
[thankfully, due to their previous conversation, Horatio knows he's dealing with a man of considerable intelligence, and doesn't pass judgement on Richard's horrible handwriting. however, he recognizes some of those places. most of them, honestly, given his tastes and his need for having adult clothing tailored to his size.]
This should be easy enough. I'll handle it for you. You shouldn't hear from any of them again.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
<KrisKringle>
Your Secret Santa recipient this year is Julian Devorak ("SaltySeaman" on the network). Please buy, make, or otherwise procure him a nice gift before December 26! You can give this directly, or label it clearly and drop it off at Crowe Clinic C/O Hawkeye Pierce.
Remember: Saint Nick is watching, and he knows where you live!
Happy Holidays, etcetera, and so forth,
Santa Claus
no subject
A gift certificate to a very expensive jeweler, wow!
Except the gift certificate is worth three solars. Don't spend it all at once!]
Early/Mid December after their convo
so a reasonable amount of time later, if not a perfectly punctual one, he lets himself into the Detective Agency with a fresh to-go cup of coffee in hand.]
I'm here to speak to someone about some creditors.
[it's vague enough for a detective agency to sound innocuous to any bystanders not involved]
no subject
That would be me. I'm Narumi, the chief detective of this agency.
[That's...mostly a lie. The name came with the building, the other detectives are just disguises, and he has no training as a detective whatsoever, but his actual success in the field speaks for itself.]
You need the list and your coffee maker, correct?
no subject
[where most people would be taken aback or startled, Horatio is just plain impressed, and grins]
I do, yeah. Hope I didn't interrupt any important casework.
no subject
[He won't take breaks if no one reminds him and there's usually no one to remind him. Really, he should be grateful for the interruption.
He gets up from the desk and walks over to a closet that's tucked away on the far side of the office. There's a bit of an ominous rumble as he slowly pulls the door open and he has to quickly slip around it to bodily stop a stack of boxes from falling out of it.]
Damn this man...
[It takes a lot of willpower not to start throwing all the worthless junk out onto the floor. He's become absolutely terrible at controlling his temper, but he manages to exert enough self control not to make a fool of himself.]
Most of these are for coffee somehow.
[He takes a deep breath to try to cool his head and starts taking things out of the closet. As he promised, there are many coffee makers of various kinds, all very expensive-looking. Some of the boxes clearly haven't even been opened.]
Or at least I assume so. I moved everything that looked similar into this closet.
no subject
[he smirks, amused, as he looks it all over. of course, he's going to take the one he likes the looks of most for himself]
I help manage things for them, as well, so I'm not just talking out my ass about it. Also, I know a couple of other people who'd probably buy one off you.
no subject
[He gives the box he's currently holding an experimental shake, then sets it carefully on the ground. As soon as he cuts the tape holding it closed, a fat black cat pours out of the box and wanders off to curl up under a table.
Richard sighs.]
You may want to clean out the coffee maker to make sure it's free of cat hair.
no subject
[Horatio's eyes widen just a bit at the sight of the cat, then he follows it with his eyes]
Of course. ... Hold on, that box was taped up. How long had that thing been sealed in there? Was the previous tenant's last name Schrodinger?
no subject
[He walks over to his desk as he talks. He needs to write down Larry Laffer's name for future reference and he might as well do it now while he's thinking about it.]
I genuinely don't know if the cats are normal cats who are granted the ability to defy the laws of nature due to the properties of the building or if the curse itself manifests them wherever it wishes.
[The mask and eyepatch may hide most of his facial expressions pretty effectively, but you can still tell he doesn't look happy about it.]
Nothing keeps them out and there's nowhere in the building you can't find them.
no subject
[he reaches down and idly holds out a hand for the cat to sniff. ever since Celeste got Grand Bois back from Mana, he's been discovering he doesn't mind cats]
no subject
[He pulls a handwritten list out of a file folder on his desk and holds it out.]
These, though, refuse to accept any resolution that doesn't involve being repaid in full.
[The list includes the names and contact information of several businesses in Bavan, mostly restaurants, high-end clothing stores, and tailors. It's very carefully written in the local language and thus ends up looking a little childish. It's clearly copied letter by letter by someone unused to writing with a ballpoint pen.]
no subject
This should be easy enough. I'll handle it for you. You shouldn't hear from any of them again.